To quote the obvious: ‘Babies don’t come with an instruction manual’. To be fair, considering I once built a BBQ totally backwards - even by following the instructions word-for-word - neither do we.
That said, there’s probably some things that should come attached as a tiny tag on their chubby wrists. One being what you can expect when changing their nappy in those first few months. Sounds obvious right? Think again. Put down your food and steel yourself, it’ll be worth it in the long run.
1. The first few days
Be warned, these first nappies will contain a dark brown or even black substance called meconium. It’s VERY sticky & messy - think trying to wipe off tar. As well as those trusty wet wipes, make sure you’ve got a wipe down changing mat to hand. Spray with a baby safe disinfectant (such as the Milton 3-in-1 cleaner, available from supermarkets) and it’ll be like new. Until the next time.
2. Milk poos
These start a few days after your little one has said ‘hello world'. Known as ‘changing stools,’ these are less sticky and lighter in colour. However, they’ll also be runnier so be prepared to get that changing area dirty.
One thing we learnt the first time we changed our son’s nappy was that as soon as that willy met the cold air it felt inclined to say ‘hello’ by weeing.
3. The Poonami
Ok this isn’t actually an official term, but it’s probably the best way to describe that poo explosion that’s going to happen at some point. And it’ll probably go everywhere - even up their backs to their necks.
If you’re lucky enough to be at home when this happens, the best thing to do is strip them off and shower them down. If you’re out - like we were (sob) - then make sure you have a fully-stocked changing bag with compartments so you can find things super-quick.
4. Teething nappies
So the jury’s out on whether this is an ‘official’ condition, but it was something we’ve noticed with our kids. Basically, you may notice that their poo is erm, runny, when they’re sprouting those toothy pegs. While this may not be nice to change, have sympathy for their little bums, which can get really sore. If you’re feeling brave, let their derriere air and make sure you give it lots of TLC with a good nappy rash cream.
5. Changing tantrums
Ok, we know that technically this isn’t a poo-ey piece of advice, but these tantrums are unfortunately something that you will encounter at some point of the nappy changing stage. Whether it’s just because they want to wriggle around & you’re stopping them - how very dare you? - or because they have chosen to turn into a stubborn teenager. The answer? Distraction. Pick a toy that you can easily slip into that changing bag, or attach to a changing table.
6. Little boys
One thing we learnt the first time we changed our little soldier’s nappy was that as soon as that willy met the cold air it felt inclined to say ‘hello’ by weeing. The solution? Make sure you cover their willy with a new nappy as soon as you whip off the dirty one. Oh, & make sure his doodle is pointing down when you put the fresh nappy on, if it is up or to the side the wee will just leak out.
So there you have it. Some top tips for nappy changing. Good luck and remember the old saying: it'll all come out in the wash!