When I met my other half, I thought the days of awkward dates were over. Never again would I have to make small talk or find excuses to leave dinners early. Then I had a baby and suddenly I was thrown back into the world of dating again. But not the Tinder, Plenty of Fish, speed-dating type. I’m talking about making mum friends. Because if you’ve done it, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Here’s why meeting mum mates is the same as dating.
You get picked up in the supermarket/street
Ok, it takes a pretty bold guy to do the supermarket/street pick up and, unless they’re Tom Hardy lookalikes, we’d find it a bit creepy. But, when it comes to mums, it seems these places are a, er, meatmarket. The best pickup line so far? ‘She’s adorable!’ yes I’m a sucker for people cooing over my diva. The worst? ‘Is she yours?’ (??????)
The coffee shop becomes the new bar
When you swap tequila for shots of coffee, chances are you’re a mum. And you’ve probably popped in to grab one because your mini-me has decided they need a feed. I’m not a huge fan of chit-chat with randoms, but when you’re sat opposite another mum with a bubba, then it’s natural to strike up a convo. I must have made an impression on one because she left giving me her number, but I’ll be honest, there have been times that I’ve had to fake a doctor’s appointment so we could make a swift exit.
You get back in touch with your exes
Woah, woah, don’t start judging just yet! I’m not on about boyfriends. I’m talking close school/workmates that you lost contact with. Good ol’ Facebook has been awesome for helping me get back in touch with a schoolmate who had a baby around the same time as I did. She doesn’t care when I turn up with sick down my jumper & because we’re both living parenthood we understand that sometimes you need a good old moan - she’s most definitely my partner in crime. #soppymoment.
You speed date - at baby groups
You dress your mini-me and yourself in nice clothes (hint, KIDLY Label will have everyone asking where you got babe’s clothes from) and head on down to your first baby group. Your heart is pounding. Will anyone like me? Will the nice mums already be ‘taken’? Then you walk in and catch someone’s eye across the room. Yes, you’ll end up making small talk with loads of other mums, but you know the first person you spotted is going to be a mum mate for life.
...Let’s not forget good old online dating
When I was pregnant with the now 5-year-old, I was first in my circle of mates. As you can imagine, asking them if stuff I was feeling was normal, was as useful as a phone with no battery. So, I turned to the good old internet and joined mum forums. After chatting, one thing led to another and I ended up meeting up with a few. Let’s just say, like online dating, sometimes the real thing isn’t what you quite imagined. After that, I learned my lesson, but if you’re inclined to do the whole online thing, there are now some apps that aim to pair you with like-minded mums in your area. Peanut is a great one. Think the Tinder and Match.com of mum mate world - it even has a matcher to help find people similar to you.
The ‘will they call/text/Whatsapp me’ scenario
You’ve met a mum who you think you got along with. There were no awkward silences, the kids didn’t play up and you share the same likes so you give her your number and wait for her to call to arrange the next playdate. And wait, and wait, and wait, because let’s face it, just like dating, there are times when you misread the signs… oh well, back to Peanut I go…!
Header picture credit: Marissa Price on Unsplash